Exactly one year ago...

I just had to post because I can remember this very same night 1 year ago...I was lying in bed resting from the amniocentesis we had in the late afternoon...wondering if our baby boy was going to have Down Syndrome??? The emotions I was going through and Jared as well were gut wrenching a year ago...I admit, I had to take Lunesta (a sleeping pill) just so I could fall asleep for about 2 weeks or so...Jared and I needed to have the amniocentesis, NOT because we were wanting to terminate but because we wanted to be as prepared as possible if this is what we were going to be facing. The Lord definately knows what kind of person I am and that is one that HAS to be prepared for all things! In a matter of a couple of weeks of first finding out the chance, then going through level II ultrasounds that did not have any markers and finally making the decision to have the amnio definately brought Jared and I to our lowest point I think ever in life...We were numb for a couple of days, waiting out the results, praying so much...we did opt to have the FISH test, along with the amnio to find out sooner than the standard 10 days...well on December 5th it was confirmed...we initially had another couple of hard days...but then after one afternoon of being ALONE and talking about what we were sent here to be...parents, and how we were meant to be together and that the Lord TRUSTED us to be a parent to a special needs child...it was a huge relief and I actually felt like someone picked me up and took all the weight right off of my shoulders, knowing my prayers were answered and the tears began to dry and I was excited all over again about my pregnancy...I was still very much worried of the unknowns and what to expect...but after the cleared echocardiogram and clear level II ultrasounds...I knew that Brayden was going to be ok and if there were health issues after birth...then we would deal with them...so far we have been extremely fortunate as he has been very healthy and at this point has no health issues. I can not express enough how much love I have for our little guy...I love all my children, but he has taught us that there is a deeper love and it is shown through and in Cody, Kaylee, Jared and myself...
This is more of a personal/diary/journal entry post, but just felt compelled to share. I am SO grateful for what I have...and really want to focus on the Christmas spirit and what this holiday is really about...The LOVE and ADMIRATION I have for the Lord...is far better than presents, baked goods, etc....Hope everyone is getting in the holiday spirit as well for all the right reasons!